I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
