Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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