Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
