the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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