On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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