what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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