You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
