She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
im on a boat
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