i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
do nipples grow back?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
