Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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