I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
