My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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