Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
