Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
