Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
