I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
