Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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