Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I smell stomach acid.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
