While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
