Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
A bitchslap is in order.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
