very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
