I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
