I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
