i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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