Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
