I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
