I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
