All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
