if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
