Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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