dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
