I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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