I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
