I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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