Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
