The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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