I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
