so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my shit smells like andre
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
