dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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