i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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