dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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