It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We just shotgunned beers for America
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
