This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
