Sponge bath it is.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
