he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
