We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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