38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
