i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
