Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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