Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
